Worst Three Dollars I Ever Made

Earlier today I semi-completed a challenge with a friend of mine. A third party supplied a tub of fudge, but it seems now that it could not have actually been fudge. It was most likely sugar and melted chocolate. I was given maybe six ounces of milk and twenty minutes to finish the tub. This challenge was a simple one. Do not vomit and finish the tub in one sitting to win five dollars. There is a video of me almost reaching my goal. If I can figure out how to edit it to hide my identity I will most likely post it here. Allow me to give a brief synopsis:

Minute 1: Starts off strong multiple spoon after spoon.
Minute 5: begins to feel the burn. Literally The fudge starts burning my throat.
Minute 6-9: Eating shit jokes begin
Minute 10: Nausea sets in
Minute 13: Small Asian girl joins in on the fun but is not allowed to eat the fudge
Minute 14: Almost done, seriously difficult
Minute 15: Assistants spread the fudge across bottom of tub to show how little is left
Minute 16: Jokes end. Shit just got real.
Minute 17: Strategy: holding nose makes eating the fudge more bearable
Minute 18: Almost done about two or three more spoonfuls
Minute 19: Second to last spoonful almost causes spontaneous vomit
Minute 20-22: I give up

Was bad. The original challenge was for five dollars but it was simply impossible to complete and therefore I only received three dollars. It was just bad. I felt nauseous for the rest of the day. Almost threw up during American Studies. When I came home I tried to take a nap but I had nightmares about the taste of the so called fudge. I still have a headache and when I tried to drink a thing of root beer with dinner I nearly threw up right there.

What fudge should look like.

Needless to say... what I ate did not look like that.
The End

Repent the End is Near

The walking dead!
Even the CDC is getting into the spirit.

Since today is Judgement day (although it's a bit too late now) I'll dish up some rapture related jokes:
So those who have not sinned are sent to heaven on judgement day. The rest are left behind to deal with a scourge of living dead. (If I am to understand correctly) This means that God gets rid of the wimps and leaves the bad asses to kill zombies... sounds good to me.
Also (not trying to be offensive), if Judgement Day passes and no one gets judged then does that disprove Christianity?

When judgement day did not come, life made this face:

Have a happy doomsday everybody.

When Will People Learn?

Don't know this one's name because I had no accomplice this time.

I think this one's a sophomore though.

Almost Legal and Less than Funny

Bloop dee blop
I was just catching up on some blog reading today while studying for tests and writing a term paper while listening to this. It literally took me hours to figure out it was about final fantasy but I guess that's a good thing in retrospect.
Oooooo this is turning into one of those not funny blogs about my life that I was trying to make fun of...

Anyway I'm working with two friends of mine (a quick google image search reveals that neither of them are available) to make this funny thing... yep... stay tuned for more info.
Btw it's a video.

Q & A with Miles

Q: Do you believe that forks are evolved from spoons?
A: Of course, if they didn't then how could a spork exist? A mule is a cross between a donkey and a horse. A Zonkey is a cross between a Zebra and a donkey. A spork is a cross between a fork and a spoon. Obviously they can mate but their offspring are infertile.

Q: You've got to make contact with the alien leader. How will you tell when the conversation is finished?

A: I hang up the phone. Easy next question.

Q: If you were a cannibal, what would you wear to dinner?

A: Nothing, that'll catch 'em off gaurd.

Q: Well, maybe they don't need them, but don't you think that some fish might like a bicycle?

A: Of course not. Most fish don't know what a bicycle is. Those who do can't afford them. Plus what fish has legs long enough to reach the pedals. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to be racist, I'm just trying to be realistic

Questions provided by blogger. If you have your own please leave them in the comments and I'll answer them promptly

A Strange Swooshing Sound

I was making a comic for you guys but then I got distracted.
I didn't save it and now it's lost forever. Well at least until I decide to remake it.
Instead I give you this:

Explanation? No I don't think so.

Obsessive Compulsive Post Disorder

I think I promised an explanation for my brief disappearance in comic for so here it is:

true story

Trick Question

Still have not gotten in trouble. Sometimes I wonder if people look at their files. (If you have been directed here from a message on your hard drive or H-drive: Press this link)

I've been gone a while. I've got a little comic strip to explain where I've been but I don't have time for that today. So instead:

Get on that Australians

 

With a touchpad. Oooooh yeah... Trying to get an Ipad pageview.

SO anyway... Can't help but feel as if the title of this is a jab at me. Too bad Dave's pictures are on my phone and I can't upload them yet. BUT I can do this:

Your hats will be removed for hacking the server.

Computer Unsafety

Tip one always log off of public computers.
Sitting in the midi lab at my school only to find this person still logged into his account.
Not the first time, so I've decided to take it upon myself to teach him a lesson.

Child your identity has been hidden. Next time it won't let's not let this happen again.
Maybe I'm serious maybe I'm not. Thanks for reading.

Btw I saved the smiley face to your H drive.

Post Nerd

I hate to post three times today but upon reading a blog of a friend of mine I realized I could be much better at this whole blogging thing.

But I don't think I'll actually try. So before I get started on this post lemme just say it may come across as a tad bit offensive to some people. I assure you I am not trying to be.

One is plural

Nuff said

I hope that was funny... but probably not...

Done now.

A bit of editorial before I go completely. Type "The Coconut Monkeyrocket" into iTunes. Best dance music ever.

The Icecream Man

The following story is true:

I was sitting in my room with my window open. I hear the drone of an electrized "Entertainer" begin. Obviously the ice cream man was near by (would ice cream be one word or two?). The drone continued until nine at night. Never once did the music blarring from the man's truck's speaker dim in volume. This made me wonder whether he was driving in circles, very small circles, or staying in one place. So this event caused two things to happen to my mind. The first: to explode (if you believe my mind weak, I say try listening to the icecream truck music for four hours straight while studying for exams). The second: to come up with the following statement:
With gas prices so high, how can the icecream man afford to drive around in circles for hours?

the end

Love, Miles

Hello Future Fans

My world domination quest begins here. But before we get started allow me to relate some information to you. Contrary to popular belief, my name is not "Miles". In fact, I may or may not be male. I am male, however, but you'll never know if that's true or not so I guess it doesn't matter.

I suppose I should introduce this blog and why I believe you should read it. This blog will consist of random pointless information as well as my own ramblings (hence the name). Enjoy.

Shout out Philly area like a salty bull. da hell?